Houseplants and Friendships

I have a lot of houseplants, some of which grow really well, some that whither and die, some that I give away, some I have to prune and even throw away.

I find friendships are like my relationship to these plants.   You plant a seed, you give it a medium to grow in, you water it, feed it, give it light and love and it grows into its beauty.  Same with a friendship.  You meet someone, plant the seed of a possible relationship, you pay attention to the person, you listen to them, you share your lives with each other, you keep in touch, you are there for each other, the relationship grows into its beauty of love and caring.

What happens when you forget to give your plants water, or food or light or attention?  They wither and die.  The same goes for friendships.  Without communication, sharing, attention, they also wither and die.  Now some plants/friends require more care than others.  If you don’t want to put in a lot of effort to care for a plant, you would get a cactus or a spider plant, they do very well without much care.  You may only want superficial friends, which is fine, and they also don’t need much care.  Maybe an occasional text, e-mail or call possibly and an occasional meet up just to keep a connection.  Still great to have those friends but they aren’t the ones you would call on if you needed help.

The most beautiful friendships and relationships are more like a delicate rose or orchid, they thrive with extra care and attention to bring out the best in them and we are rewarded with their delicate blooms and amazing scents.  Just like the best of friendships grow and reward us with their beauty and love when we give them the care and attention they deserve.

What about those plants that you have outgrown?  They may no longer resonate with you, or you have too many of them.   They are like the friends that, although once close, no longer have the same outlook on life that you do now. You can give those outgrown plants to others who will appreciate their beauty and you can set free those outgrown friends to find other companions of like mind and heart.

What about those plants that try to take over your house despite you always cutting them back?  They are like friends that try to suffocate you, are too needy, try to take over your life and don’t give you any space!  With those plants, if you can’t tame them, you may have to pull them out by the roots and throw them away.  They are much like people that suck your energy and try to control you, and with them, you have to be firm, set boundaries and maybe cut them out of your life if they don’t back off.

It takes work to have a meaningful relationship with another person, it takes work to grow a plant into it’s highest beauty.  With plants, it is pretty straightforward and simple, give the basics and it will grow, give a bit extra and it will flourish.  With the humans you can give those things but without mutual communication it may not flourish no matter how much water and light and food you give it.  The added piece is respectful, honest and open communication, in addition to all the rest.  Oh, how we humans sometimes get stuck there!!  Our big egos get in the way and instead of talking out problems we go silent.  We perceive slights where there are none, we misinterpret others words, and instead of asking for clarification, we get in our heads and make up stories and this can all lead to us pulling back, not tending to the nurturing of our friends, and through this lack of communication, our relationship withers and dies.  So many times these deaths of relationships and friendships could have been saved with just open and honest communication, putting egos, perceived hurts, etc, aside and show up with an open heart ready to talk and to listen.

Ahhhh, much easier to be a plant, but of course, it is now being discovered that plants also have emotions, so maybe we also need to keep that in mind as we tend our houseplants and make sure to speak to them kindly and offer to listen to what they need as well.

Until next time….on this day of Hearts, be wild and listen with an open heart and mind to your friends and plants so that your relationships with all of them may grow into their highest potential.

Sending much love to you all!!